mediocrity

I'm not scared to fail.
I've done it before.
It's not so bad.

I've heard it said that it's not so much that we are scared to fail, we are scared to succeed.
I have no problem with success.
It wouldn't be so bad.

I'm scared of mediocrity.
Being average. Middle of the road. Just good.
That would be bad.

I have dreams....big dreams.....dreams that seem that they will burst right through my chest if I don't contain them. Ideas and visions and plans. But.......

Before I even picked up my first real camera I had visions of what I wanted to produce. I finally held the camera in my hands and it was as though I was finally given a medium with which to express and capture moments, ideas, color, light. I have yet to make the big step of letting it be my life, because I feel the results have been average, ordinary, good...but not great. It's hard to pursue something when you know you won't fail, but you won't soar either.

I want to go to photography school or film school, I want to let the creativity pour through me. I want freedom to express and produce.....but am scared of the mediocre results.

Failure I can deal with.
Success would be amazing.
Mediocrity, I don't want....

all grown up...... 

Lessons 10yrs in the making....

The friends that were truly important in my life 10yrs ago are still really important in my life today.

We never truly comprehend how our actions will effect the outcome of someone elses life.....good or bad.

We are not the same people today as we were yesterday, we are constantly changing, growing, learning, succeding, failing ..... moving.

We are very blessed when we have the support and love of friends during the tough times, not everyone does.

We can spend a lot of time assuming things about people, only to find out with just a single glance that we were wrong.

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