just me...

The world has an interesting view on my situation.

Slowly people at work are finding out that I'm separated and many ask me outright about it. I try not to dive into too many details and I try not to say anything bad about my husband b/c despite everything I still think he's a good person....but the response I get from almost everyone goes something like this....
"One day he'll come to his senses and come back, but by then it will be too late b/c you will have met someone who thinks your fabulous and it will be his loss"

What I find interesting about these comments is 1) that people assume I am anywhere near ready to be in relationship b) that my self esteem and happiness depends on finding a guy who thinks I'm fabulous c) that I could so casually throw away a relationship as serious as a marriage with a "his loss" attitude.

I have some friends who started taking me out right after John left, they figured the best way to get over him was to meet someone else. I am absolutley baffled as to how jumping into another realtionship 2 weeks after my husband leaves is healthy??

My self esteem does not come from a man, a relationship or even the roles I play in life, my self worth can not be measured by the amount of hugs I recieve, or the number of "I love you's" I get. Nothing makes me feel better than when my son curls up on my lap and tells me he loves me, but do I judge my worth on that? honestly?.....sometimes.
It's dangerous, it's denial, it's alot of things but it's not healthy.

If John doesn't come back....I hope that one day I will find someone to share my life with, but until I'm okay with me, just me ... with life, relationships and roles all striped away, I don't think I want it.