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I used to think love was a choice...that you woke up every morning and chose to love the person next to you, even when you didn't feel like it. I'm not sure I hold that belief anymore.
I think love is irrational, I think love is that feeling that no matter how badly you have been wronged you can't stay angry. It's not a pathetic-whiny-i'll-die-if-I-can't-have-you-in-my-life feeling, it's knowing that even though you can't have that person in your life, you still forgive and respect and cherish them, even when they hurt you.
Love's not a choice, love hits you like a semi-truck, sometimes more subtle than that, like a pickup truck or a volkswagon bug, but it hits you just the same. Sometimes when you least expect it.

I'm off to work...bring on the boxing day sale :( yuck.

strange christmas lyrics...

"the logs on the fire, fill me with desire..."

what the..??

apparently Jesus told Andrew he (andrew) could look after his cat. (that would be Jesus' cat)

Life is made up of meetings and partings, that is the way of it. - kermit the frog, as Bob Crachet in a Muppet Christmas Carol

Remember: the mightiest oak was once a little nut that held it's ground.

The other day Andrew asked me a question that I didn't know how to answer, I told him to ask his dad. He replied "Dad doesn't know everything......but mom's and teachers are smart".
He's such a good kid.

'tis the season

I used to like Christmas, now I work in retail.
Peace and Goodwill - what a joke!
The store is packed, "winter wonderland" is playing over and over again, only by different artists with different styles, jazz, punk, scottish....
Kids are crying "I want barbie!" "Maybe santa will bring it for you" "I want it now" then the screaming starts.
People are testing out stereos (on top of the christmas music) with a little hip hop and funk.
Customers in your line are rolling their eyes because they have to wait 5 mins for their turn.
Uuuggghhhh.....
I think I'll call in uniterested.
I don't think the boss will be too understanding.
I can't wait till January. (make that February, January is the season of returns)

Thank you

Thank you James, for posting my picture! You're awesome!

skid marks

I got to work a little cranky today. (you can ask my sisters about my crankiness, they'll fill you in) One of my favourite coworkers passed me his business card just after I remarked "this life sucks". He told me to put in the pocket of my work pants so I would always have it with me at work. I flipped it over and read....

"Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thouroughly used up, totally worn out and loudly proclaiming ....
WOW! What a ride!"

Amen!!

church burning

I saw on the news the other night that Olivet Mennonite church went up in smoke last weekend. I went to school with a few people who attended that church, I remember as a teenager going to a youth events there, I remember as an adult listening to my best friends little brother preach his first sermon there. It's amazing how a church becomes more than just a place to warm a pew on sunday morning, it becomes part of your life.

A few years ago I sat in a large church in Abbotsford remebering walking across the stage at my graduation with six dear friends, I remebered a few years later watching 2 of those dear friends walk down the aisle to that stage to start a new life... and as I sat there with my 6 dear friends reflecting, we said goodbye to one of our children. That church, although it's not my home, represents milestones in our lives, joy and struggles and the support of amazing friends.

I'm sure there was a sense of sadness as the congregation watched their beloved church burn, but sometimes it's in the ashes that God refines and purfies and rebuilds.

yesterday I finished up a 43hr work week. yesterday I got to work and wondered how I would make it through an 8hr day without a breakdown. yesterday I stood in the change room before my shift praying for strength to fight the exhaustion. yesterday my coworkers kept me smiling, yesterday the line ups were so long that 8hrs flew by. yesterday God heard my prayers.

today I slept in, today I had coffee with the generation before and the generation after. today I worked towards accomplishing some goals. today I found rest. today I found comfort. today God answered my prayer.

tommorrow I will go to work. tommorrow I will start the whole process again. tommorrow I will be tired. tommorrow I will be frustrated. but tommorrow I will find rest. tommorrow God will still be there.

wired

it's 10:30 at night and I just got home from work, i haven't even taken off my uniform yet, I have to be back at the store in 10hrs.... and I have the urge to paint!!! I totally want to whip out the brushes and rollers and get that 5th coat of red paint on the walls!!
I'm sure I'd regret it in the morning though...I hate having to be responsible. I should go to bed :(

Ironic

I dragged my friend Taneane to the Christmas parade on friday night. We walked down from 7th in the pouring rain. But I was determined not to miss the parade.
What did I learn from the annual fan fair? That Grabba Java now has gift cards and I that I can get a custom website designed for only $179.99. About 3 floats into the parade I looked at Taneane and said "this parade is just one big advertisement."
But I love it still.....
In between the billboards were pockets of christmas spirit. Kids in angel costumes, singing carols, lights, community spirit, worship, rock and roll. I love it all.

On the trek back up to 7th we witnessed a man trying to cross a road, apparently the oncoming car didn't take notice of his efforts and nearly hit him. The man raised his fist and screamed "Jesus Christ" and stormed off. Ironic. I thought to myself "Merry Christmas to you too".

My hope is that somewhere in all of this mayhem and excitment of Christmas people will stop and ask themselves why we do it. Why are having parades, and turkey and gifts? The man crossing the road seemed to know.

VISION
- the ability to see a positive outcome even when things aren't looking so good.

The pox

we're bored.

Andrew has chicken pox, so we are confined to the house and we're bored. I just gave Andrew a measuring tape and he's walking around measuring everything he can find. I hope this keeps him occupied for a while. I SO want to go to Tim Hortons for a cheese biscuit. Life's rough. We're bored.
Maybe we'll start working on those homemade decorations. Any suggestions for empty toilet paper rolls, string and pink straws? That's about all we got.