AVS chick

It's official, I'm an AVS chick, apparently we are a rare species.
I had my first shift in the AVS department today (for those of you who don't know, that would be AUDIO VIDEO SYSTEMS.) Steve, don't laugh. Just b/c I have never hooked up my own DVD player doesn't mean I can't.
I set up 2 1/2 tv's today.
The camera manager called me a traitor and said he lost a little respect for me today. Later he came by and said that now that I'm an "AVS chick", I've got a little bit of an attitude. He's just jealous I guess 'cause I get to watch TV all day.
Tommorrow I'm back to being "photo girl" or "picture lady" as the carpet guy calls me.
I'm going to have to choose which department I want to pursue.
Reminds me of a song .... "torn between 2 departments, feeling like a fool......."

obsessive compulsive

The other night I had company over for dinner, after which one of my guests took it upon themselves to do the dishes.
Andrew noticed the next morning that the forks and knives were in the wrong spot, he felt the need to point it out.
This morning I caught him pulling all the forks out of the drawer, I asked him why, he said he was just putting them back in the right place.

Is that normal?

this is Skippy, he came to visit us alot b/c we had the best cheese crackers. 

here we are very proud of our make shift shelter, built with sticks, stolen rope, found bungy cord and lots of inginuity.... 

my friend Gillian and I went camping for a few days at Alouette Lake, here I am holding the stick to prop up the tarp while Gillian plays with the camera.....

In a movie-like world Lori would have flushed the prozac and felt liberated, all the while an inspirational athem of freedom would reverberate in the background, she would watch the pills spin and disapear and never have the desire to go back.

Too bad life isn't like the movies. Really, she watched the pills disapear and felt a little freaked. And rightly so.

I was at work tonight, feeling tired and thinking that if this were a movie I would grab my car keys and walk out the front doors while undoing the top, choking button of my uniform, jump in my car and drive. No one would realize what had happened until they started calling "Carolyn to Photos" and no one came. That inspirational music would play and I would stride out of the store in slow motion. Then it would cut to "1 yr later". And there I would be in my own studio living the dream.

Yeah, life's not like the movies. There are no consequences in movies, no worries about rent or car payments, or needing references to get a job. No day by day struggles, just a subtitled flashing on screen proclaiming "1 yr later", and all is right in the end. How you got there isn't really important.

Life rarely has inspirational background music, uncomfortable situations don't just fade into black, there aren't always happy endings, the bad guy doesn't always get what he deserves, the unpopular teen doesn't go the prom and end up as prom queen.

There is no fast-forward in life, no scene selection....... no pause button.

If only there was a pause button.......

At my highschool renuion 2 weeks ago I had a chance to catch up with an old friend. He was telling me about one of our former classmates that has really grown in the last 10yrs.

He said he "drips with intergrity".

Wow. that's a powerful statement.

I began to think about that description, how every ounce of his character is filled with such integrity that it seeps through and is almost tangible.

I then began to wonder if I can say that about myself, or rather if anyone can really, honestly say that about themselves. Is it possible to drip with intergrity, or are we all really good at putting on the mask of decent morality? We all have little secrets don't we? I suspect those people we have put on pedastels have regrets, remorse and shame just like the rest of us.

And yet I still feel I should strive to be a woman of integrity, despite the shortcomings, mistakes and secrets. To stand strong in my convictions, to not bend my values.....or maybe it's more than that.
Maybe being a person of intergrity is more about acknowledging the failures, accepting them, admitting them and still continuing to move forward despite bad choices, admitting you're human, forgetting the pride......

thoughts?