sign of the times...

this morning when Andrew crawled into bed with me, I asked him if he had had any dreams last night, he replied "no, I just had a commercial...."

how hard can it be?

so last night I heard the familiar gurgle of the bowl. Feeling quite confident with my new found plumbing skills I strolled into the bathroom, grasped the handle firmly and and gave it a hard determined jiggle. I then walked out, confident the problem was solved. 5 mins later a sound caught my ear and I leaned my head through the bathroom door, quite perplexed at the sound of running, gurgling water. Time for more drastic measures. I again grabbed the handle, said a few colorful words and showed it who was boss. Another five minutes passed and still the bowl kept bubbling and rising.
I squared my shoulders...this toilet was not going to get the best of me. It was time to take the lid off the tank. With both hands on the lid, I counted to three and pulled it off. Here's a life lesson, when removing a lid from a toilet tank do NOT lean in right away to see what the problem is. A shot of disgusting toilet water sprayed me directly in my eye. I'm thinking that's probably not good, and definelty not normal. I reattached the hose to the thing-a-jig, but the water kept coming. So, being a smart as I am I ran to the other toilet to see what the inner workings of a functioning toilet looked like and copied it. Time for the test. I pushed the handle a little cautiously at first, then I heards the glorious sound of the flush. I had won! I beat the toilet! I passed the first test of singleness! Victory was mine! What a beautiful sound, what a ......what the??? ....what was that noise? The gurgle was back...I dropped to my knees, "NOOOOO..." rushed from my lips. It can't be, it was. The chain from the stopper had unattached and gone down. I tried to pull it up, but it was stuck. I pulled and I cursed and it wouldn't budge. The water kept coming. I hung my head in shame, kneeled on the floor took a deep breath and turned off the water. Toilet 1 .... Cari 0.

I called a friend after the incident. She started talking about how things were connected in the toilet and what thing-a-ma- jig did what. I realized she was a pro, she had had years of experience with these things. She is a single mom, works two jobs, has an old car that just broke down, can't afford much for herself. She is an amazing woman. I don't consider myself a single mom, I can't complain, I am being more than taken care of and supported while I try to become more self sufficient and I am so grateful for that. But I applaud those women who have had to go it alone, who have had to give up everything to raise their children. They are absolutley extraordinary and deserve so much respect.

God's plan for growth, never the way we want it!

so a few weeks ago just after my husband moved out, my sister and I were in the garden store doing some shopping thereapy when I came across a beautiful flowering indoor tree. They had one on sale for 10 bucks, so I thought how can I go wrong? The one I picked looked more like a shrub than a tree so I asked if I could prune it so it looked more tree like. The garden store lady said that would be fine. I decided to call it the "my husband left me flowering tree". I brought it home, repoted it, fertilized it and most importantly pruned to look like a tree.

It's been 2 weeks....the flowers have wilted and the leaves are falling off (is this a bad sign if the "my husband left me flowering tree" dies?) I was starting to get a little discouraged when I noticed yesterday that there is tons of new growth, all of it at the bottom where I had pruned it.

Aparently it wants to be a bush, not a tree.

hold onto your hats, we're in for a wild ride!

I'm laughing right now because I just posted a blog about adjusting to life on my own, meanwhile I am listening to my toilet gurgle. I just went to check on it and it's bubbling and belching, so I jiggled the handle - I don't know what this does, but I heard someone say something about it before, so I thought I'd give it a shot. I'm thinking this new life is going to be one interesting adventure!
If anyone has any advice for my gurgling toilet pls feel free to pass it on. Wish me luck as I dive into independent life!

he took the x-box, it must be serious

so I'm adjusting to life on my own now....it's been really odd. This weekend Andrew went to stay with his dad from friday to sunday, it was weird to come home from work to an empty house, well not completely empty, the dog left me a present to show her displeasure at being left alone. It was weird to be woken up at 9:00am by the sun instead of at 6:30 by the chatterbox.
This will definetly take some getting used to, but one thing I know is that I can't sit and wallow, or become useless, or empty. If ever there was a time to live, and to dance....it's now.

While watching Oprah one day (yes, I watch Oprah occasionally) I heard the story of a lady who had been terribly disfigured in a fire. Oprah had asked if she ever cried about it, the lady replied that her sister had given her this advice - allow yourself 5 minutes a day to have a pity party, then dry your eyes and get on with life (I may have paraphrased a bit). Good advice though...

I posted this once, and though I had always seen this little face peeking OUT at me, someone commented that they felt that they were secretly hiding and this little face was peeking IN at them. It's all in your perspective I guess. 

because I am

today I went downtown to take pics of the staff at newheights. I had one who won't smile, one who can't act natural and one who thinks it would be funny if they streaked. I think it was worse then taking pictures of kids!
I haven't taken pictures in months...since I got "the job". I realized how much I miss it. Maybe that's my dance. Maybe that's what makes me free...to create.

I worked at summer camp many years ago and for skit night a group of us did a dramatic reading of sorts....I don't know quite what it means, never gave it much thought, but it's something to ponder I suppose ( you have to read it slow, it's more dramatic):

I can't do
I be
but when I be
I do
because I am.

hmmmm......

perfection

This morning Andrew and I were up and outside by 8:00am madly raking the grass before the rain hit - (turns out we had plently of time since it didn't start till 4:00pm.)
We had a great time though...the sky was blue and cloudless, the air was crisp. Within 20mins the fog rolled in, and Andrew pointed out it was getting soggy (he's having trouble with the word foggy) .
We watched a bluejay having breakfast in the apple tree, discovered spiderwebs wet with dew. It was a great morning, like the perfect childhood embodied in one misty morning...
Andrew talked about Jesus.

I remember a few years ago thinking to myself with a smile "this child is perfect". I was well aware of his misbehaviours and stubborn streak, but even with that knowledge he was perfect in my eyes. It then occured to me that this is how God sees us, fully aware of our imperfections, yet he loves us so much that to him we are perfect.