trying not to feel stressed...

The owner of the apartment I bought has invoked her 72hr subject removal clause, which means I have 72hrs (actually less than that now) to remove my subjects from my offer. Thank goodness the house sold, looks like the mortgage will go through, still have to get insurance, it's just a matter of getting all this paper work figured out by Wednesday...arrrgggghhh feeling a little pressured, I'd hate to lose the place because of some late paperwork!
Andrew also has to register for kindergarten this week, which means I need his birth certificate, which is in the glovebox in my truck in the repair shop AND he needs to get his immunization records and get his shots up to date this week too.....arrrgghhh. And I have to work, and I have ... actually that's all, okay so it might not be so bad, I just have to plan well so I don't miss any deadlines. I should concentrate on the apartment first and I can shoot the kid later.
I just hope it all works out.....

you gotta kick at the darkness till it bleeds daylight. (from the song "lover's in a dangerous time)

help!

An overzealous realtor locked my storage room after a showing last week..... and I don't actually have a key for that door. All my boxes for packing are in there! So I am in desperate need of someone to pick the lock. If anyone posses this talent pls. let me know (no questions asked)

Satisfaction

I was letting Andrew look at an old Calvin and Hobbs book a highschool boyfriend bought me years ago (I won't say how many 'cuz that will date me), when he called me into his room and handed me some papers he found in the book. I glanced at them and tossed them on the desk. I was acutely aware that they were poems, but I was uninterested in reading them at that moment, so I put them aside and continued my emailing. After working on an email that required me to really put myself out there, I looked at the papers and thought, "maybe God wants me to read those right now." So I did.

Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone.
To have a deep full relationship with another....
But God to the believer says,
"No, not until you are satisfied and content with being loved by me alone...
with giving yourself totally and unreservedly to Me.
I love you my child, and until you discover that only in
Me is your satisfaction to be found, you will not be capable
of the perfect human realtionship I have planned for you.
You will never be united with Me
exclusive of any other desire or longing.

I want you to stop planning, stop wishing and allow Me
to bring that person to you.
Keep listening and learning that things I tell you...
You just wait, that's all.
And when you are ready, I will surprise you with a love
more wonderful that you can ever dream of.
You see until you are ready, I am working this very minute
to have you both ready at the same time...
Until you are both satisfied exclusively with Me,
and the life I have prepared for you,
you won't be able to experience that love that exemplifies your
relationshhip to Me - and this is the perfect love.

And dear one, I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your
relationship to me and enjoy maturely and concretely
the everlasting union of beauty and perfection
and the love that I offer you with Myself.
Please know that I love you utterly.
BELIEVE AND BE SATISFIED.

Yep, I think God wanted me to read that.

coping :P

A dear friend who is struggling with her own marital dysfunction asked me tonight how I was able to cope. How was I able to wake up in the morning and keep going? I told her it was really just a little bit of caffeine, a little bit of alcohol and a little bit of denial. Okay, so I'm kidding (let the rumours fly....)

I have a son who needs me, a job I need to keep, goals I want to accomplish, so many things to drive me forward. The situation and the decisions I'm making aren't necessarily good or bad they are just reality. Sometimes you need to do what needs to be done, too much time lamenting on what's been lost only stalls the progress. I need somewhere to live, I bought an apartment. I need to save money, I'll get a cheaper vehicle. I need to provide food, clothing and shelter for my son, I'll work extra shifts. It's life, it's real....it is what it is. You just get on with it...

I love my husband dearly, and pray continually that he will find his way home, but in the meantime I need to face reality, life will pass me by while I wait. So I will trust God, but still live life to the fullest while waiting for his plan to unfold. You only get one shot at it, better make it good.....

Sold.

The house sold tonight. Got almost asking price (so thankful for that) so now begins the packing and sorting. Bring on the boxes! No really....if anyone else has boxes feel free to leave them in the carport!

addictions

Oh, I'm in trouble....

I just came back from Superstore and they have just brought out their spring stock of house plants. Lush, green foliage....sigh

Here's the thing, I never used to own houseplants, I had a blackthumb everything withered and died, they were either overwatered or not watered enough, I couldn't get it right. Then I moved last year to my house and I started buying plants, to my surprise, shock and amazement they lived! I was so excited I bought more...and more and well, more. I currently have over 20 houseplants. This isn't a problem because my house is a good size and they are equally distributed between all the rooms.
It's occurred to me however that I am moving to an apartment, a north facing apartment with 2 windows (that's 10 plants per window...) That's alot of plants. But here's the real dilema...I can't resist buying more plants, I had to physically remove myself from superstore so I wouldn't buy anymore, I kept thinking how they would look so good in my backroom (the backroom I will only have for 6 more weeks)
It's like they call me and reach out and say....take me home, water me, I'll be so pretty.
I don't think I can go to superstore anymore.

Things I have learned this month....

Love is irrational, unconditional, powerful and forgiving.
Nothing you could ever give up can equal what you could lose.
Being comfortable in an uncomfortable situation is an amazing feat.
No matter how close the bottom is, God is always closer.
Always be prepared with a can of touch up paint.
There are no regrets, only lessons learned.
A true friend will love you even when you have done something completely stupid.
A little duct tape fixes a lot of things.

Don't let the garage door hit you on the way out...

So I'm sitting here wondering...why did God let me hit the post? Did I not have enough stress already? I'm dealing with a marriage ending, getting a house ready to sell, trying to get a mortgage, work, a child...it's all getting to be a bit much. Then I hit the post, now on top of the above mentioned items, I have to deal with fixing the carport, fixing the truck and the financial ramifications of that....Did God not think I had enough to deal with?
Then it occurs to me, I was driving the truck, not God. Hmmm...there might be something to that.
I like metaphors, I often use them and find them very meaningful in my life.....that's what this is, just one big expensive metaphor. But I think I got the point.

You know you are having a bad day when...

the realtor is coming to take pictures of the house and you drive your truck through the post of the carport. I'm not sure my day could get much worse...oh, wait.....The truck I was going to trade in for a cheaper vehicle now has $3000 worth of damage and has significantly dropped in value....and my insurance premiums have now significantly gone up! Good times :P Maybe I'll lose my job tommorrow......

Life is what happens when your busy making other plans.....

Next on the list...

Selling the house, it will be on the market hopefully by tommorrow, asking price $232, 500. Pls if anyone thinks of it, pray that this house will sell and that we will get close to asking price and also that my mortgage will be approved b/c that's still up in the air as well. Although, maybe it's better to pray that God's will will be done....maybe God has other plans....whatever happens, pray that we will find the right place to be! Thanks!

closet space

I made an offer on an apartment last week and was delighted and a little freaked to hear it was accepted, so if all goes according to plan I will be packing up my little house and cramming it into a much smaller space. My dear friend Taneane discovered today how much of a packrat I am.....

First off let me just say I am so grateful for the wonderful people in my life. This whole process is very difficult and just when I start to feel sorry for myself my friends and family appear to show me just how loved I am. It started with Liz coming over to tackle the paint issue in my bathroom, then my Dad came to install a floor and fix a toilet. And then today Taneane showed up at work and asked for my house keys so she could borrow some photography equipment. Upon arriving home from work I found her car parked in the driveway so I knew something was up. I was met at the door by her husband Steve with a dustpan in hand. They had spent the afternoon cleaning and painting the house! Wow. I was so dreading coming home to the mess and the list of things to do, it's been so stressful for me. I was on cloud nine to come home to a clean house! It was like a huge weight off my shoulders. How blessed am I that I have such wonderful people in my life.
It's easy to forget how loved you are when you concentrate on the one person leaving you, my world is bigger and fuller than that and I need to open my eyes and see it.
Unfortunetly Taneane opened her eyes and my closets, it was then that she discovered my secret, I hold onto everything, can't ever seem to let things go.....perhaps it's time to clean out the closets? Let a few things go.....

Vision - the ability to see a positive outcome even when things aren't looking so good.

Perseverence - the ability to achieve a postive outcome even in the face of critics.

Good bye Pepper

Pepper went to live with her new family today. She's been gone for less than an hour and I'm already finding it strange not having her underfoot. I am sure though that she will be so happy with all the love and attention she will get.
Next on the list is getting this house ready to sell....did you know it takes more than 4 coats to paint a wall red?? What was I thinking? I am hoping to blitz the house in the next few days and get it done and ready!
So....since blogging worked to get rid of the dog......if anyone is looking for a 2bdr + bonus room rancher with shop & spacious backyard with fruit trees in Hatzic.....just let me know!

while pulling into Magicuts yesterday onour way to get Andrew's hair cut, the car in front of me pulled over. It wasn't clear if he was attempting to back in, our if he was just moving out of our way, or just what his plan was. I must have muttered under my breath, "Come on buddy" because from out of the back seat came "Come on buddy, my hair's growing here".

those darn hamsters

So the time has come to put the house up for sale.....and I've done it again. There are half-painted rooms everywhere, you would think I would have learned from the last time that I should finish one projects before starting another. (I think I get this from my Dad). My spare time will now be taken up with painting, cleaning and ..... checking out apartments.
I hate selling, it's so much work and I am going to have to seriously get rid of clutter. I am a terrible packrat, my closets are overflowing with stuff I don't use and there are 4 boxes in the shop I still haven't unpacked from last years move! Can you say "Garage Sale!"
And then there is Pepper, poor, sweet, misunderstood Pepper. The shitzu is going to have to find a new family...
Change is good I suppose....fresh start? Whatever it is, it is happening so we are going to make an adventure out of it..... Me, Andrew and the hamster I promised him.

So I am in training for PTL - photo team leader. My boss has decided that if he takes a vacation or gets transfered, I should be the one to take over. Not a bad deal. Although I'm having a hard time taking in all the information, I work an 8hr shift with him and he talks the whole time...I have learned that I tune out after about 5hrs. I think I need one of those tiny portable tape recorders so I don't miss anything important.
I have also learned that I can only be nice to customers for 5hrs after that I start to really not care and the fake smile comes out - don't catch me at the end of an 8hr day, it may not be pretty.