Tuesday, March 22, 2005

Boxes

In just over a week I will be unpacking boxes filled with earthly things I really don't have much use for...
this week families who live in deplorable conditions will be opening boxes filled with essentials and surprises. Some of these boxes may even change lives. Money that has been sent will be used to buy shoes and uniforms so the children will be able to go to school.

The first year we did baby clinic in El Amparo we had a line up out the door. We had brought our children's secondhand clothes and stuffed toys. The moms were so young and so eager for clothes for their little ones. It's incredible to be part of it.

8:08pm
This is as far as I got in this post, I was then going to talk about how I would love to spend more time packing up heavenly boxes. "do not store up your tresures on earth where moth and rust destroy......" But the bank called just as I finished that last sentence. Because I am not buying the apartment we will owe the bank a signicant penalty. That was the last straw, my money was already accounted for.... paying bills, paying debts, investing. I felt like I was getting the short end of the stick. It wasn't my fault the place burnt down. I unleashed on my husband via email, sobbing the whole time. I can't really say it was a money issue, it was more of a how much more can be heaped on me (have I mentioned that my new place isn't ready yet?). Up until that moment I was pretty accepting of my circumstances, so many people have had it so much worse than me, I was just chalking it up to "that's life". The families in Costa Rica don't have food on a daily basis and I'm bitching b/c I won't have enough for a down payment on a future home. I was having a huge pity party, my life isn't fair, why should he walk away with so much and me so little? Unfortunetly my husband who had wanted me to be more open and show more emotion just had his wish granted...perhaps not in a way he was hoping.
Time for a reality check....it's money, in the end it won't matter. I want heavenly boxes. I want to look back at my life and see the investments of made into eternal matters.
Sometimes that's easier said then done, it's so much easier to get caught up in the daily life, the earthly fairness of it, the drive to get ahead.

Store up your treasures in heaven, pack the heavenly boxes.

10 comments:

Michelle said...

hmmm... now my boxes and boxes of baby clothes are making me feel kinda guilty....

liz said...

don't know how much it helps but
LOVE YOU!

Anonymous said...

Trust in god, and trust in yourself, with bad times always comes good times. Believe me, good times are coming. That’s a PROMISE. Your friend always, ….

Michelle said...

Wow Carolyn, no words of wisdom here just know that there are many of us who struggle with resentment, and bitterness about earthly worries. It's so hard not to. Try to lean on God and the many people surrounding you who love you. Tomorrow just keeps on coming. I won't pretend to know how you feel but I'm more than willing to lend an ear if you need one!!

Alvin & Denise Engler said...

seriously? which bank? it's times like this i wish i was a mobster. you know, i make a few calls, claim a few fingers... and everything magically gets better for you. sigh. -de

cari said...

It's good to know I have friends willing to chop off fingers for me! I should clarify that the penalty is for my current mortgage, we were going to transfer it to the apartment. Because we are getting out of the mortgage 3yrs early we are being penalized :P

Thanks everyone for their support, I'll bounce back.... it really is just part of life.

lori said...

Good to know you'll bounce back...hope your cheques don't!

Banks can be real 'pissers!' (that's my best almost a swear word but not...!)

Miss-buggy said...

I'm sorry to hear about that Carolyn. Just remember your awesome faith and God will provide. It's hard to remember that sometimes when you feel like you are at the end of your rope. I'll be praying for you. It will all work out.
I am glad the place is ready!! YEAH! If I didn't have to go to training I would help. I've barely ever painted, like once or twice, and I think it would be fun! Have fun. DId you know that there is now paint that goes on with a tint of blue but dries white so that you know where you put it last? Cool.

shari said...

Aweeeeee Carolyn. Been where you are sooooooo many times. My lowest low came when one day when I was working at a relatively new job. I had just returned from the lawyers, where we were signing our 'papers'. As we left, he looked at my crappy car I had scraped my pennies together to buy, commented that I paid too much and told how he had to run cause he and his girlfriend had to go sign some papers on their new house!!! When I returned to work, I went into the kitchen to get some coffee. A co-worker noticed that I was a little "dazed" and asked how I was. I broke down and sobbed, telling her about how the kids and I live in a cold depressing basement and how broke I was but HEEEEE was buying a house. I had myself a big ol' pity party. It took some time to turn my thinking around. But what I realized is that while I didnt have much in earthly treasures, my kids and I were very close and I was surrounded by love.
Keep your eyes on the prize. Life has a way of throwing wrenches at you. Keep packin' up those heavenly boxes!

Sue said...

your mother says ´get a lawyer´.