inspiration....

Inspired my sister's demolition, I've decided to rip out my front hall closet in the hopes of opening up the livingroom a bit more! can't wait!

Oh, what a sale!

I was lured in by the sign that said 80% off, now I have curtains that are gorgeous but not quite right for my living room and I can't return them. I'm a little frustrated with myself right now :(

Living my dream...puking in Africa...

My friend Carmen has found herself in Africa for 5 weeks. This blog is of an Australian med student she has met there.
It changes your perspective abit.....

See what I didn't know was, tofu is made out of soy....

I hate soy.

I just want to be a girl!

I recently got a new dishwasher, complete with a 5 yr warranty, in case it should malfunction someone will come to my house and fix it. Sweet.

It malfunctioned.

The day of the "big" party.

So my friend Peter called the appliance store and they said they would happily send someone out that day.

But it was my party and that stressed me out so I declined and said I would call back next week.

So I called tonight. Hoping someone could come on Saturday.

The man on the other end was somewhat reluctant, he told me to disconnect it and check to see if the pipe was clogged and then call him in the morning and if needed he would come out next week.....

Now it should be said that I own my own power tools and am not too afraid to use them. I am fully capable of disconnecting the dishwasher and unclogging it.

But sometimes, I just don't want to.

Sometimes I don't want to get dirty, sometimes I don't want to crawl under the sink.

Sometimes I want to be a girl and protect my manicure!

Sometimes I want to use the extended warranty and have someone do it for me!

But sometimes the dishwasher just needs to be fixed.

So that's what I did.

It's interesting that as soon as you get settled, back into routine after a storm, the wind kicks up and life changes again....

Mom and Terry braved the icy roads to get me a new tree from superstore!

I didn't want to put up the big tree as it takes up half the trailer, so I opted for a 4 footer instead.

Thanks Mom and Terry!

feeling a wee bit guilty

my car is under 2 feet of snow, the highway has not been plowed and the wind is causing near white-out conditions.
I decided not to risk the drive into work.
So I phoned in and discovered everyone else made the trek. 2 girls from Abbotsford, 1 from Maple Ridge, 1 doctor from North Van, the other from White Rock, and all the patients have showed up.
Huh.
Feeling like a wimp....

kids never seem to care how cold it is outside....

So who's all coming to this thing?

send me a quick email if you can make it....it started as a boy/girl party, but the boys are dropping like flies...so we might be having a girl's night!

Don't forget...

more about my fridge...

I made Andrew KD for dinner.
He didn't eat much of it, and I wasn't about to touch the stuff.

Andrew hates leftover KD and I don't blame him.
But I couldn't bring myself to throw away 3/4 of a box of perfectly good KD. So I sealed it in some tupperware and put it in the fridge.
I know full well that it won't get eaten.
So I'm waiting until it goes bad, then I'll throw it out and it won't seem like such a waste.

I'm wondering how many of us have tupperware filled with stuff we should have just gotten rid of in the first place, but instead are just letting them rot.....

I had dinner with friends tonight.

At one point the evening's conversation turned to photography, business opportunities, exploring new projects. As I drove home after I was amazed at the amount of excuses I was able to come up with. Couldn't do it full time, don't have alot of spare time, scared of producing mediocre work, fear of disappointing people.......the list is endless.

Kind of like the list of why I didn't go to Africa.....

this is your official invitation to come celebrate my 29th birthday!

Sat Nov 25th 2006 - my trailer, 7 ish?

food, friends (new and old) , games, wine....and chocolate!!

Everyone is invited, email me for directions!

why you should have hired me to be your photographer....

Danea...paging Danea....

Danea...I lost your link when I switched to beta.
I've been missing your blog.
And my friend Rachelle, whom you have never met but who stalks your blog regularly, can't find you.....
Come back to us...

Expectations and the failure to meet them.

"I'm normal!" I exclaimed the other day at work.
The receptionist looked up quizzically from her work and said "you say that like you are surprised"

Not surprised, just declaring....

I'm not an extravert, I'm not the life of the party (I know some of you find that surprising). I can remember being at a party with my (then) husband years ago, I found myself sitting on a couch having a quazi conversation with girls much younger than me whom I'm had never met before. At one point they both got up to go find their boyfriends, I looked around for a familiar face. I couldn't find one. Not even my husband.

I wasn't upset, just not impressed at being left in a room full of people I didn't know and didn't share an similiar intersts with.

It seemed the more I was expected to go out and have a good time, to mingle, to fend for myself...the more I pressure I felt and the more introverted I felt. I began shrinking into corners and reluctantly going out.

I have no problem sitting back and watching the happenings in a party, I'm pretty content to ease my way into meeting people. But to some unless you are dancing on the table it would appear you are not having fun.....

So in the last few years I have examined that phenomenon in my life, why the pressure to be extraverted makes me more intraverted, and I discovered.....I'm not alone.

I'm normal.

The more people I talk to the more I discover that I am not fundamently flawed (well at least not in this area....)

landslide

I remember in highschool doing a project for geography on landslides. Part of the project included pictures of the Hope slide. Pretty ugly. The highway was washed away, trees ripped out, a big scar carved across the hillside.

Today you would find the roads repaired and new plants growing. Perhaps if you didn't know about the slide you would never suspect there was one.

It's the same place, the landscape is just different now.... permanently changed. Changed that is, until the next slide

wait for it...

new posts coming soon.

Had a computer mishap...

Lost (or should I say temporarily misplaced) all my email addresses.....so everyone please email me (even just a blank email) so I can update my address book!
Thanks

young & beautiful

Payton was wearing a fluffy white dress, what every 2yr old should wear to a wedding. The pink rose buds emboirdered on her skirt whirled with the movement of her dance. She stood off to the side watching the grown ups, clapping and spinning. Young and carefree.

I had spent many hours deciding on the perfect dress for the occassion, but when I saw Payton I instantly wished I had a dress like that. Perfect for dancing, perfect for spinning, perfect for forgetting the cares of life.....perfect for dancing.....

so many blogable events, so little blogable time.

This picture is unrelated to the proceeding blog. Michelle took it at ladies retreat and I love it!

Rachelle took me to the international jazz festival 2 weeks ago. I thought I had an appreciation for jazz. Apparently I don't "get it". It was rough right from the get go, but I agreed to give them the benefit of the doubt. The benefit ran out about the same time as my rum and coke and the doubt soon took over. At one point Rachelle reached under the table and squeezed my knee in sheer agony of the shreaking bellows that ripped forth from the belly of the saxaphone. Once the crowd erupted in applause and cheers (?) we squeezed our way through the crowd, burst out the door and inhaled the sweet city air. I can only conclude that (and this is a very general statement) some people get so engrossed in the culture of the city that they can no longer think for themselves. If it's new or different and edgy it must be good. Forget talent and skill, who needs those? No if it's in the name of art I must applaud.

The next big event was Il Divo. Mom and I ventured onto the skytrain and headed into the city. We had a fabulous time and the show was amazing. Mom and I had great fun watching the middle age women make fools of themselves. There was an entire section at the very front filled with women carrying flowers and teddybears, and handing out glow sticks. At one point someone threw a glowstick at Il Divo while they were performing. I would have stopped the show at that point and said "Hey! Do I come to your work and throw stuff at you?!" But they didn't, which was a shame as I would have loved to have seen that!

The next night Gary and I rescued an abandoned pitbull out of the trunk of a broken down car, neither of which were related. The owner of the car showed up just after we did and was a little shocked to find a pitbull had set up camp in his trunk. I named him Harley, and sent him to live with my dad. Both are happy as clams.

And lastley I am ashamed to admit I went to see the new Adam Sandler movie. Yeah.

Oh I was wrong, that wasn't the last of it. Yesterday I came home from work and decided I needed a haircut. So a garbage can full of hair later and voila PDC (pretty darn cute) and PDC (pretty darn crooked). So Liz I will be giving you a call to do a little clean up in aisle 1!

Hello Mama, Hello Pama, here I am at, the great camp Squeah.....

I just dropped the monster of for his first week ever of summer camp!
I spent 11 summers there and am so excited that now it's Andrew's turn!

I have no idea what you are talking about

Yesterday would have been my 8th wedding anniversary.

Alot has happened since that beautiful, cloudless day. I am often asked if I regret marrying John. It's hard to regret something that has given me the most amazing child. But besides the blessing of Andrew, I do not regret marrying John. It was only one part of a very long journey. I've learned alot about myself, I've learned about true love.....

Yesterday my sweet friend Rachelle took me out for an evening "all for Carolyn". We had dinner and went to the jazz festival (more on that to come...) and sat in a posh restaurant, ate torte and drank wine.

It was a fabulous night. No sadness, no regret....just moving forward.

A frequent conversation in our house:

Andrew: Mamma....
Me: Yes Andrew?
Andrew (slight pause): I love you.
Me: I love you too.

It' s one of those moments that always gives me warm fuzzies. It usually comes out of nowhere, while we are at the grocery store, riding in the car, puttering around the house. Makes me grin everytime.

Yeah.

Until this conversation:

Andrew: Mamma....
Me: Yes Andrew?
Andrew(slight pause): I love you.
Me: I love you too.
Andrew: Do you know why I said that?
Me: Uh, because you love me?
Andrew: No, I forgot what I was really going to say.

Thank you Angie for the grass....

The letter I sent to Shaw today...

The difference between Telus and Shaw....

A few months ago I was experiencing some trouble with both my phone and my internet. I called Shaw to get some help with my internet but had to use my cell phone b/c my home phone wasn't working (that's alot of details, but trust me they are relevant to the story).
Because I live out in the sticks my cell doesn't get very good reception in my house. I managed to find one spot in my living room (carefully balanced on a chair, but nowhere near my computer) to call Shaw for help.

The guy who helped me was extremely patient as I couldn't walk to the computer without losing reception. He carefully told me what to look for and I'd put the phone on the coffee table and run to the computer. Back and forth we went - and not being the most brilliant of computer operaters, I went back and forth alot. Each time he waited on my coffee table until I came running back to report what lights were flashing and what cables I had unplugged.

I felt so bad for using up his time, but he said he didn't mind. A few times my phone cut out and he promptly phoned me right back. He never once abandoned me (although he did mock me a little :) As it turned out the problem was on my end, not yours...but he still helped me solve it. I believe his name was Graham - I asked for it so I could write a letter of thanks. However I didn't get to writing the letter and now I'm wondering if his name really was Graham (my apologies to the guy that helped me if Graham is now getting the credit for it...)

So today, months later I am reminded about the great service I recieved after calling Telus and spending 35 out of my 40min call on hold. An error on their part resulted in me being overcharged...alot, and they seemed pretty reluctant to deal with it as they passed me off from one representive to another. But this really isn't a letter about Telus, it's a letter about Shaw - and the stark contrast between how I was treated today by Telus and how months ago a guy named Graham (or something really close to that) treated me like a customer, with respect and a smile (I could tell he was smiling on the other end).

So Thank You Shaw and Thank You Graham (if that is in fact your name... )
Keep up the good work!

Beating the train....

Everyone around here knows that when you leave the Junction and head into the industrial area, if there's a train you have to make a quick decision. Wait it out or pull the U-turn. I almost always go for the U-turn.
Which is exactly what I did yesterday.
I made my way through town feeling pretty pleased with myself that I had beaten the train and the other poor shlubs were still waiting for it to end. I pulled up alongside the train down on railway ave, and proceeded to merge onto the highway. It was at this point I realized I would have to cross this train again to make it to the trailer park. I really hadn't beaten the train at all.
As I continued down the highway I managed to get a head of the engine. I knew then it could actually be doable. I sped up. I could beat the train.
I was feeling pretty confident until traffic began to slow. As we rounded the corner I could see a guy in an H3 doing 60 on the highway. Cars were backing up behind him. I kept checking the rearview mirror, the train was catching up, did no one notice this but me? Go! Go! Pass the guy, do something! The train is catching up!
The lights began flashing at every side road I passed. The arms lowered at every crossing. Not a good sign. Seriously people, look in your mirrors!!!
We rounded the corner, the arms came down in front of the H3.
I didn't beat the train.

You can never avoid the inevitable, only delay it a while.

I went to a private christian highschool.

I recently met up with a friend who also went to that highschool.

We had different experiences.

We talked at length about where life has taken us the last 10yrs, who we still have contact with etc.
He was telling me about one of our former classmates he still sees, this man knows how to party (and knows how to brag about it) Mon-Sat. And when Sunday rolls around he puts on his best suit and his best smile graces the church with his presence.

My friend has a pretty sour taste in his mouth regarding Christians, and I don't blame him.

As someone famous (I apologize for the name has escaped me now) said "I'd become a Christian if it weren't for all the Christians I know..."

The troubling things is the more he gets to know me, the more I may be solidifying that belief........

Why I like the Da Vinci Code...

First let me start off by saying that I have not read the book nor seen the movie and don't have any real plans to. I have no strong feelings either way about such activities and have remained pretty neutral about the subject.

Second, I think it is important to examine one's faith and understand where our beliefs lie. Many of us have been raised in the church and take most of what we hear at face value. The problem being that as we mature and are asked why we believe what we believe many of us are like a deer caught in headlights.

Which leads me to this.....
This last week I have watched several shows regarding the Da Vinci Code. First I watched Dateline as they were featuring a story about unlocking the clues behind the novel. I decided that it was worth watching 1. to see what the fuss was about and 2. to see if there really was a valuable claim to Christ producing offspring (and the big coverup that would follow)

I did not approach it from the standpoint of a Christian determined that nothing would shake her faith. But rather as a rational human examing evidence. What I watched was laughable.There was nothing, no historical proof. Only legends and myths.....
Tonight was an AE special that concluded there was no proof and one of the main storylines was made up by a modern day crazy French man who was hoping to become King.

So why do I like it?
Because it forces us to take a good look at our beliefs...the ones we hold dearly.... and ask ourselves how much truth there is in it. Because when confronted with such crazy concocted ideas I would hope we would be able to decifer fact from fiction.

I was discussing the movie with a friend who is not a christian and saying how most of it was speculation and myth and she replied "of course...it's fiction..."

It's fair to say that most rational people are alot smarter than we give them credit for.

Danea has battled RA all her life.
But from her crooked, scarred hands beauty, kindness, creativity, inspiration and generousity have poured forth.

It has definetly been a priviledge to be her friend (and cut her food :)

To one of the most amazing women I know!

So Terry, you think you can handle it?

You're not just getting a wife....you're getting 3 stepdaughters, 1 stepson-in-law, 6 stepgrandchildren, two dogs and a cat.

Welcome to the trailer park!!

I had to update my blog because my friend Rachelle was quite tired of reading about my taxes.
Here is a picture Rod took of the monster.....

67% of my immediate family live within a 1 minute walking distance of my house.

God The Bounty Hunter

A few months ago I admitted to my mother that I had a new favourite show "Dog the Bounty Hunter". I love that she admitted it was her new favourite show as well (sometimes we are freakishly alike).
The Dog is in the bailbond business, he bails people out of jail and when they fail to appear in court, he hunts them down. He is swift and harsh while he arrests them. Then he puts them in the back of his car and gives them a smoke or a sandwich, let's them call their families and tells them how God changed his life, and that there is always hope, there is always a chance to change things around.
It's Easter, and I was thinking about how Jesus put up our bond when he died on the cross, though we definetly did not deserve it. Many of us have skipped out on him, turned our backs him and denied him. Like Jill said last Sunday, God always comes to seek you out. He will find you. Sometimes he is swift and harsh, but we sure get the point. He then gives mercy and grace freely. We know there is always a second chance - it's never to late.

tommorrow is D-day

or really - pre D-day.

Tommorrow I sign the papers that allow the lawyers to serve my husband with divorce papers. It will officially be the beginning of the end. It's a strange spot to be in, I have been anxious to get this over with for some time now, but now that it's really here, I'm beginning to feel abit nauseous. No one plans for their marriage to end this way and I swore I would never be the one to file for divorce. Yet, here I am....

I really don't know if I am doing the right thing (and I'm sure their are alot of you with opinions about it) Part of me doesn't want to file, but the other part knows I'd just be dragging it out.

It's been it's been more than 18months and I didn't expect it to hit me this hard..........

Leave it to the professionals.....

I dropped Andrew off at his Dad's tonight and came home to have a girls night in. It didn't take long to break out the hot wax and begin fixing up some of the areas that needed attention. It was a proccess I began 24hrs ago during which time my friend Rachelle called and marvelled at my bravery. I explained it wasn't bravery, just lack of funds. Desperate times call for desparate measures.....self waxing. A few quick rips in some sensitive places and the wax was promptly taken off the warmer and put back in the cupboard under the sink.

Round 2.

House to myself, hot bubble bath, ice cream, sappy movie... (I hate sappy movies, I'm not sure what's going on??) Anyway, it's at this point I get a call from a guy I went to highschool with. I foolishly answer the phone, wax strip in hand. Haven't seen him in 10yrs and he says "So, what are doing?"

Uh. Waxing my toes?

There is a reason we pay professionals for such things. Ripping hair out of my legs, eyebrows.... upperlip... (you get the point) is NOT the way to spend a girls night in. I don't care how easy the picture on the box makes it look.
The wax is now back under the sink, and my legs are a big patchy mess.

Good thing I'm single...sounds appealing doesn't it?

The clinic wasn't yet open and I was standing in the lunch room pouring myself a cup of morning goodness, I had a few moments before the doors would open and I was pondering life. I was questioning why so many of us stay in jobs we hate, why we arrive every morning dreading the day that would follow, or maybe feeling something a little less dramatic like the boredom of the daily grind. Is it because we have been told that "sometimes in life we have to do things we don't want to do..." and we buy into that?

It was at this moment that I thought how great it would be to grab my bag and say to my co-workers "It's been great working with you all, but I don't want to do this anymore....have a good day" and stroll right back out the door.

Okay, so that wasn't realistic. Life's not like a movie, where I would walk out the door and the sun would be shinning and the inspirational music would play and the world would be mine to explore! No, I would walkout, default on my mortgage, loose my car..........

But back to the original thought. Have we been beaten down so much that we accept that perhaps it's not possible to have a life that is fullfilling in all aspects. That we should accept that this is all there is? Or is it just a matter of attitude?

I must admit, when I started this post last week I really did not like my job. I think I was stressed b/c the last person with any experience left on Friday, which leaves me (4 months experience) and the new girls to figure it all out.

I am happy to report that the clinic did not spontaneously combust this week and it is actually going quite well. I don't hate my job and it's not really that bad.

But...every once and a while that nagging thought creeps in.....there must be more............

When I started at the eye clinic I was told that it was not a matter of if, but rather a matter of when I would break a patient's glasses. Today was my day. Yep, I over- tweaked a pair of old bifocals and cringed when I heard the "snap." You can't do much at that point except hang your head and groval. I felt like such a knob.

I'm feeling better now though, at least I wasn't driving the Queen of the North.

just remembered why I love photography.....

I just told Andrew to go get his little stool so we could eat dinner in living room tonight. I followed that by saying, "or we could eat at the kitchen table like normal people"
He replied "We're not normal!"

your reputation proceedes you...

The other day while chatting with a coworker, the topic of ex-boyfriends came up, from where I'm not sure....but none the less it arose and turned into a very interesting conversation. I was describing a highschool boyfriend and oddly enough my coworker exclaimed "I know him! I think I worked with him several years ago" She couldn't remember his last name, but was sure by the way I was describing him that it was indeed her former coworker. She brought a picture the next day from a company halloween party and sure enough it was him. I began to think about this, about how I had used a few words to describe him- sweet, shy, intense, incredibly talented, and she instantly connected those words to this man she met almost 10yrs ago. more to follow...........

words that define...

words are very powerful things. that's not a new statement, nothing profound and revolutionary about it, just the plain truth.
When I met my husband 10yrs ago, there were 6 words that catipulted us into friendship and eventually marriage. If you were to ask him about those words now, there is no doubt in my mind he would instantly be taken back in time and remember the significance of that simple statement .
8 yrs later I sat and listened helplessly as words came at me, bringing an end to our marriage, stinging words that will forever stay with me.
So many significant events are surrounded by a windstorm of words that serve to define who we are.
In turn, there are many words used by others to define us. Smart, funny, outgoing, cold, shy... the list is endless. I wonder if someone would be able to pick me out of a sea of aquaintances by such a brief description, and, what would that description be?
more to follow.....

your face reminds me of the day my dog ran away...

Words bring back memories...so can faces. Certain old friends remind me of when I was young, carefree and spontaneous. Old crushes bring me back to a time when I was insecure and shy. There are faces that remind of mistakes I've made. And still others that make me wonder, "what if..." It's hard to hear that you represent a hard time in someone's life. Harder still, knowing you can't go back and fix it. I spend a lot of time living in the past, wondering "what if...", wishing I had made different decsions, hoping unrealistically that somehow I would get another chance. I'm missing alot of the present, and even more of the future, daydreaming by the window of the past. Not sure how to move on from that.....

Just under the surface....

This is more than I would usually blog about, but Michelle expressed today her personal struggles and questioned why everyone else seems to be holding it together when faced with adversity. I have never felt the need to blog any of this, and can only say that I do now b/c I'm fairly sure she is not the only one who has questioned her faith, or felt inadequate as a wife, mother or christian. Perhaps a little honesty about what goes on under the surface, would remind us that it is only by the grace of God......

1 week before my wedding 8yrs ago I found myself incredibly ill, unable to eat, having panic attacks, stomach pains, etc. The doctors could not figure out what was going on and thought perhaps I had an ulcer. The day before the wedding we called it off and then put it back on again, we did however cancel our Honeymoon in the Carribean. I remember waking up the morning off my wedding absolutely miserable, I cried b/c it was supposed to be the happiest day of my life and I was so ill. I made it to the wedding, and we planned a less exciting, but still nice honeymoon to Whistler. It wasn't the honeymoon I had imagined, I was a mess, I had panic attacks and could hardly bring myself to smile at my new husband. I was devastated, so was he. I would often excuse myself to the bathroom and just pray that I could just go out and smile and enjoy my honeymoon and be a good wife. I prayed, I cried, I screamed, but I could not climb out of the pit. Things were not going the way I had desperately wanted. My family doctor diagnosed me with depression, and I declined to take medication. My husband kept suggesting I see someone, I refused. How devastating it was for him to have his new bride crumble this way.

It's fair to say that was the beginning of the end. Although by the time I had Andrew the depression was gone, the effects of that first year would never go away. We started growing apart the moment we said "I do".
It wasn't all bad, we had happy times and we were good friends, but it certainly wasn't what it should have been.

I started praying for our marriage about a year before it ended. Begging and pleading God to bring us to another level, to restore our marriage.
Trouble hit, and though it wasn't a huge shock, I figured we'd work through it. I was convinced that it was the answer to my prayer. Hard times that would serve in the end to bring us closer and restore our marriage to what it should be.

I was wrong. I was stunned.

We worked at it for 5 months. I cannot say that I did everything perfectly that summer, but my intentions were good. I tried and failed, and tried and failed more times than I can count. The thing is, life doesn't give you a handbook on how to deal with these situations, you pretty much have to guess, unfortunetly I may have guessed wrong.

My husband left last Sept, I watched as he packed his bag and walked out the door, I didn't try to stop him. A few months later he took off to Mexico with his new girlfriend. I was devastated. I didn't let him see it.

I felt so inadequate as a wife and a partner, I didn't snowboard or bungy jump or go to parties...she did. She was fun and exciting and all the things I'm not. That hurts pretty bad.

I felt so inadequate as a christian, I had prayed and prayed, but God did not hear my cry. I began to think that maybe I just didn't have enough faith.

It's been a hard year. So much has changed. I have had to make so many decisions on my own, admittedly some of them have been wrong.

I have cried myself to sleep on countless occasions, I have screamed and thrown things, I have crumpled into a ball on the floor, I have questioned who I am, and every choice I have ever made. I have yelled at God, and questioned why he is allowing my child to be raised in a broken family. I have wondered what I have done to deserve this, and how much more I can really handle.

The truth comes down to this, we are all just one desicion away from becoming an addict.
Seriously.

Am I holding it together any better than someone else? Probably not. Have I thought about drowning the pain? Yes, I certainly have. What keeps me from a breakdown? Not really sure. Would it be so bad if I had a breakdown? No, it really wouldn't.

Am I any less of a person because I once struggled with depression? because I made wrong choices on how to handle it? because sometimes I question God? Am I any less valuable because I have screwed up more times than I can count? because my husband left? because somedays it's a struggle to get out off bed? because sometimes I question what the point of it is?


I have a hard time with people who are obviously struggling and spew out some godly words that sound good and sound faithful and courageous, because they believe that as a christian it would be wrong to admit that we doubt, that we question, that we blame....

Does God really want us to be that fake? Is that really depending on him when we lie to ourselves and to Him about how we are feeling?

Let's just be honest and admit we don't like ourselves sometimes, that we blame ourselves, that we wonder what our purpose is.

We've all been there Michelle, in fact, I think alot of us are there right now.

Yes, it's orange...

And I like it!

Alright handymen...

My dryer is making a whining noise...before I rip the whole thing apart can someone impart their wisdom on me and tell me what it might be? A belt perhaps?

My phoneline's been down for almost a week now. I called Telus to let them know. I found myself trapped in their voice activated service system. Everyone in the clinic heard me....."yes"...."no"... "phoneline"..... "repair"..."residential"......I got frustrated and pushed O in the hopes of reaching an operator. At this point the nauseatingly pleasant computer voice says "Alright, an agent then....there are 4 different types of agents....."
Seriously?

Seriously?

I just want to talk to a human!

No such luck. I was then put through to a recording that stated they are aware of the problems with my phoneline and could not give a definite date that it would be repaired.
Really?

Really?

Hmmm...........

show and tell...

Andrew had show-and-tell today. He forgot to pick something to bring, so as an alternative he was allowed to talk about something special to him. He gave 3 clues and the class had to guess what it was.

Here's what he said:

1. She's old
2. She travels all over the world
3. ......Did I mention she's old?

exhausting...

Liz's surgery did not go as planned, instead there were complications - nothing I will get into here. So after rushing out to the hospital, expecting the worse...and it very nearly was, I was relieved to find her happily on morphine and doing much better. However I still would ask that everyone pray for her recovery, as it will probably be longer than expected.

Spent the weekend in Vancouver at a convention for the BCAO (BC association of optomistrists).

80% of the worlds blindness can be corrected with proper optometric care. 80%. staggering. It is fixable, it can be prevented. Find out what initiatives have been taken to ensure everyone, in every country has the Right to Sight.

Also, if anyone has old glasses (not progressives or perscription sunglasses) pls bring them by the clinic and they wil be donated to the Third World EyeCare Society

my boss thinks I'm engaged...

I've been dreaming about work everynight for the last 4 months. EVERY NIGHT. Nothing particularly bad, not neccessarily good. Just me dispensing eye glasses, discussing the difference between progressives and bifocals, adjusting frames, processing orders. My boss says it's healthy, it means I'm engaged in my job.

I think it's neurotic.

In a failed attempt to quit my job, I ended up with hours that are more suitable for Andrew and I without losing too many hours (Praise God, seriously...it was an answer to prayer! I love when that happens!) Anyway, it requires I change a to our schedules that I thought I would put out there in blog world in case it works with anyone else's schedule....
I need to be at work at 8:30 and Andrew needs to be at school at 8:40, so I need to drop him off somewhere at 8:20 and have someone take him to school and wait with him until the bell rings. It would only be 2 weeks out of the month. So, if anyone is going that way and wouldn't mind a little tag along...he's fairly quiet, doesn't cause much trouble and if I say so myself, kinda cute.
I'm so excited b/c this new schedule allows me to be off work at 3:30 instead of 6:00 (or later)!
Let me know if anyone is headed that way, thanks!

i'll play too...

Your Five Factor Personality Profile

Extroversion: You have medium extroversion. You're not the life of the party, but you do show up for the party. Sometimes you are full of energy and open to new social experiences. But you also need to hibernate and enjoy your "down time." Conscientiousness: You have low conscientiousness. Impulsive and off the wall, you don't take life too seriously. Unfortunately, you sometimes end up regretting your snap decisions. Overall, you tend to lack focus, and it's difficult for you to get important things done. Agreeableness: You have high agreeableness. You are easy to get along with, and you value harmony highly. Helpful and generous, you are willing to compromise with almost anyone. You give people the benefit of the doubt and don't mind giving someone a second chance. Neuroticism: You have low neuroticism. You are very emotionally stable and mentally together. Only the greatest setbacks upset you, and you bounce back quickly. Overall, you are typically calm and relaxed - making others feel secure. Openness to experience: Your openness to new experiences is medium. You are generally broad minded when it come to new things. But if something crosses a moral line, there's no way you'll approve of it. You are suspicious of anything too wacky, though you do still consider creativity a virtue.

The Five Factor Personality Test

the blind leading the blind....

A lot of people have asked how my new job is going....
well, as of next month I will be senior staff. It's the fastest promotion I have ever recieved.

Don't get excited.

One person retired before christmas, another went on maternity leave. A third goes on maternity leave next month, the fourth announced her retirement last month for the end of this month. We hired 3 new people, the first new girl worked three days and quit yesterday. And finally, the last remaining staff person with experience gave her notice this morning.

So, that leaves me and the girl who started at the same time as me, two new people who start next week and the need to hire one more..........

yeah, it's going great :)

I was fortunate enough to be able to spend the weekend (or at least part of it) with two of my favourite people a few days ago. We had a night of laughter, martinis, venting and sharing...
then indulged with chocolate waffles and whip cream for breakfast.
How blessed I am that no matter how helpless, or frustrated I feel my friends are never far away...

fridges can be very personal things.
when friends come over we tell them "help yourself to anything in the fridge", but that is usually followed by, "except the casserole in the blue container, it's a little old. Oh and don't eat the yogurt, it's expired. The broccoli in the white dish is fine, but I wouldn't eat the stuff with the green lid...."
On the surface everything in the fridge looks edible, but I know what lurks in the depths of the tupperwear. We keep inventory of the good and bad.

Just like life, we invite friends in and open the door "help yourself." but.... "don't go near that container of jelousy. That lefteover hate isn't looking so good anymore. And I wouldn't touch that expired bitterness......."

Maybe we should let our friends in, to see our moldy cheese.........

we decided at work there should be a sitcom called "The Clinic", profiling the working lives of 4 young (younger, youngish) woman at, of all things, an eye clinic. I encouraged the girls to think of who they would want to play themselves in such a show. Sarah replied that if the show was such a success she would quit the eye clininc and play herself in the show (goodcall).
Sandra Bullock came to my mind to play me, she's quirky and clutzy (and thin, let's be honest we are all too fat, too short and too awkward to play ourselves on TV). She'd be the girl who would trip and fall on her face when some young hot guy finds his way into the clinc. (Oh who am I kidding? the only guys in the clinic are 80yr old men, and well, let's not go there).

yes, somedays feel like a sitcom. When we are speaking LOUDLY and s l o w l y so as to not be misunderstood, when we get yelled at because the doctor is running behind, when the printer jams...... just another day at The Clinic.

this site meter is fascinating.....

I recently discovered that I can see where all my visitors are from (I know, I just figured this out, I'm a little behind the times....but I'm catching up!)
So to those of you in Alberta and California and Nova Scotia, and New York and Unknown Country....... "Hello!" And even those of you from Port Coquitlam "Hi!". Feel free to drop me a line and let me know who you are!